Myths about Love & Sex

9781576835104School’s out and the lazy, hazy days of summer are upon us. And the thoughts of young men and women often turn to love, romance — and sex. How do we mature Christians guide them through the mine field of emotions and the maze of sexual myths?

Excellent help can be found in “How to Stay Christian in College” (Navpress, 1999) by Prof. J. Budziszewski. In chapter 6 he smartly raises and demolishes several common myths young people hold about love and sex. Let me cite the first, and his reply…

MYTH NUMBER ONE:
LOVE IS A FEELING, AND SEX IS THE ADULT WAY TO EXPRESS IT.

Have you ever wondered why when people get married, they promise to love each other until death? Think about it. Feelings change. You can’t promise to have a feeling. So if love is a feeling, the marriage vow makes no sense at all. But the vow odes make sense because love is not a feeling. What is it , then? Love is a commitment of the will to the true good of another person. Love, let me repeat, is a commitment of the will to the true good of another person.

Now the outward expression and seal of a commitment of the will is a binding promise. So the adult way to express love is to enter into a binding promise — and that’s what we call marriage. “If you really loved me,” some people say, “you’d do it with me.” Baloney. If he really loved you, he wouldn’t demand it. If she really loved you, she wouldn’t either.

Score: Truth = 1, Myth = 0.

More to follow….
pdb

“Defining Decency Down”

[On his blog “the Constructive Curmudgeon” Dr Doug Groothuis speaks some sense on the whole flap over Ms California… (excerpted below, emphasis added); just what I’ve been thinking – pdb]

The New Town, Lucerne

Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. – Proverbs 31:10

Christians are foolish to sing the praises of Miss California, Carrie Prejean, simply because she uttered some inarticulate opinions against same-sex marriage and speaks of God. To find a heroine in her is to define decency down, just as social science defined deviancy down decades ago…

This young woman is a beauty queen, both ensnared by and loving that sad and silly skin game. However, the category should not exist. American society has created an unreal and cruel standard for women to reach: the beauty queen–a woman known for curves and perfect skin, heavenly hair and preternatural teeth. They prance and pose and preen; the cameras churn and burn; the media salivates and speculates. My stomach turns. It is all sinful a waste of the short time we have on this fallen planet. Moreover, in addition to the intrinsic immodesty and vanity of the beauty queen persona, this woman apparently posed for even more indecent photographs. This model is no model (of character).

Carrie Prejean is no heroine. She does not deserve any more attention. To give it to her, whether you are James Dobson or Sean Hannity, reveals the paucity of both real virtue and Christian discernment today. We have defined decency down. Perhaps we should lift some prayers up.

Amen. (pdb)